We all at one time or another have wanted to be in love. We have wanted to find that one, our soul mate. Then we meet someone, everything seems wonderful. Y’all are getting along, sending cute texts, can’t live without each other, etc.. Then, one of those individual gets caught doing the unthinkable, cheating. That cheating has you sitting around wondering how or why that person could ever do such a thing to you. It has you doubting yourself, feeling insecure, hurting, and most of all you are feeling stupid. So, why would this person do this to you after you’ve given them your all, shown them the moon & the stars, and laid it all on the line? Its quite simple. Because they wanted to. You can’t “make a mistake” & cheat & if you accept that lame excuse, you should be cheated on! I know we all make mistakes but don’t sit around & be dogged because you’re afraid of being alone. Its not worth your time. I’ve seen men & women stay in the most miserable, toxic relationships for years, just to say they have someone or not have to sleep alone most nights. Its definitely our prerogative to do as we please, but how many years of your life will you spend crying over STDs, him or her not coming home, or them disrespecting you in front of the kids? What are we teaching our kids? We’re teaching them to settle for that piece of a relationship because we’re too lazy to date, put his or her sorry butt out, or move on. Our children are watching & absorbing more than we think, the least we can do is teach them not to take any shit, no matter what form it comes in.
Do we really love unconditionally? I mean honestly folks… If his bank account isn’t overflowing with funds or she refuses to perform fellatio, do we really love them without condition? Maybe 40 years ago, but these days, we’re always attempting to change something about the person we’re involved with. Back in the day, when our men were cheating on the other side of town with some “Jezebel”, we shook it off & hoped he’d ended it, but we did stick by our man. I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do, but all was forgiven & that lovely couple stayed married for 50+ years. There is ups & downs in every single relationship, if there isn’t, someone is lying! But are we walking away from a good thing too soon because we are loving with condition? Are we falling in love with an illusion of colors instead of true colors? Because it seems as if once the “cupcake” phase of the relationship ends, that’s when all hell begins. No I’m not implying you take him or her back after they have committed the ultimate relationship crime (cheating), but I am saying I’ve witnessed people walk away from great relationships over petty arguments, money, little white lies, etc. We don’t talk or compromise anymore, we’re just ready to cut that person off at the first sign of hardship within the relationship. There is no way we can maintain a healthy, committed relationship without issues, compromise, & unconditional love. Accept people for exactly who they are because I guarantee you there’s someone out there willing to love you for you, flaws & all. Unconditionally!
We all hope our sons will grow up to be great, accomplished men, but in this day & age, that is not the case. Instead of graduating high school & going off to college, they remain in their “hood” and deal drugs, gangbang, etc. Instead of marrying the young women they lie down with, they’re spreading their seed & having 7 kids by 7 different women. They are thousands behind in child support & refuse to seek employment.
Do we as mothers & fathers take responsibility? Have we given up on our sons? No! We can only raise them, what happens after that is their responsibility. The phrase: “it starts at home” has some truth to it. But what do you do when you’ve done all you’ve possibly could? Who do you turn to when you’ve worked multiple jobs, sent them to the best schools, clothed & fed them?
I have no answer. But what I do know is, something has to give. Why are our sons wanting to stay & “represent their hoods”, what has the hood done for them besides drug addiction or a jail sentence?
Why aren’t our sons taking care of their kids? What could possibly be more important than spending that quality time with your children. Money can’t raise children. They tend to attend the clubs more than they visit their children.
What happened to courting a woman? Nowadays, its all about having sex or chasing the woman who has the most ample behind only to find out she has no goals & nothing else to offer. The priorities of our young men are completely off because the goal of courting or dating a woman is supposed to be marriage. If marriage isn’t the ultimate goal, then why are you leading her on?
So-called men, grow up! Make us proud! Do great things! Follow your dreams! Take care of your families!
I am all for the “strong, independent woman” movement, but I think it’s gone a little too far. Some women are turning our men completely off with these attitudes they have no reason possessing. I understand if you’ve been hurt in previous situations or relationships, but can you honestly let your past hurts define the rest of your life? Do you have to wake up bitter or with a chip on your shoulder every single day? The answer is no, and if that behavior continues, you’ll find yourself 57 years old with a house full of feline friends.
Why are you so wrapped up in the fact that he doesn’t have the new pair of overpriced sneakers, a car, or a house? Ladies, humble yourselves because that public assistance apartment & generic pair of Christian Loubitons doesn’t make you a “bad bitch” or whatever you refer to yourselves as nowadays. You attract who you are, so next time a young gentleman approaches you, humble yourself, because the type of behavior this generation’s 14-45 year old girls & women convey is not acceptable, nor is it cute. You’re worried about if he can change oil or cut the yard, but can you cook? He deserves much more than Taco Bell & Ramen Noodles. Learn how to clean the house. There’s no reason your man/husband should come home to an unclean house.
The number one complaint I hear about men is: “he doesn’t have a job”! Do you know his story? Have you asked? Probably not! Because if he’s not buying you & your classless friends drinks, you consider him broke. These men are scarred. They are broken! They are hurt because 30 years ago, we supported our men, we complimented them, we struggled with them, we assisted them in reaching their goals, we trusted them, we VALUED them.
It will not make you a weakling to actually sit down, zip your lips, and let that man take charge.